The deadliness of irony

Knives are extremely dangerous, they have a sharp blade, they're heavy and you could easily cut yourself - I'd like to argue.
Daddy disagreed, he said they were no more dangerous than chairs, which have edges, sharp corners and are heavy.
Pah, I thought, there's no way chairs are more dangerous than knives.
Daddy then pointed out how much I would like it if I dropped a chair on my toe. Not much I guess. But I thought that was less likely than losing control of a knife and hurting yourself.

An hour later
I was vacuuming
I moved some chairs to vacuum under the table
I dropped the chair on my little toe
Now my little toe is bleeding
That is irony.

Losing my voice

Today,
I
lost
my
voice.

It was so strange having words planned and said but not coming out of your mouth and unable to hear it.
However, this has made me realised how I much I talk. I realise that our 'conversations' don't really happen as it is usually just me talking them nodding. Embarassingly, I also notice I talk to myslef.

God, I want my voice back, but I suppose it really makes me realise how much I talk. Too much.