Sunday 4 November 2012

No one does irony better than me.

(aka. Deadliness of Irony 4)
 I have been attending a first aid course this weekend.
Which I obviously thought would be good for me.
However, 7 hours of mostly lecture, would not be what I called fun.


So it was the second half of the second and last day. I was getting increasingly restless. The instructor's stutter was really starting to get to me, and I really did not enjoy listening to stories about random people, or biology lessons.
I wanted to do some practical exercises, to wrap up people's arms in funky bandage patterns, to do something that feels impressive.

But anyway, I saved the impressing to later.

So the powerpoint and instructor continued to talk about different form of wounds.
And of course very helpfully, there were pictures as an example of each. They started off fine, just a picture of a graze.... it elevated rather quickly. There was a picture of a foot with a garden fork through it.

I like putting pictures when I can in my blog.
But...

Then the picture on the screen turned into a bit of metal lodged in the eye. As in, pierced through the lens and into the white. The white of the eye was red.

He continued to talk.

I was rather fidgety, and couldn't stay still. The morning had been long, we had been taught the reasons for unconsciousness. Fainting was one.

He continued to talk, and all the pictures he had shown me, especially the one of the eye staring right at me made me feel uncomfortable.

Queasy.

My vision started going blotchy. I felt faint.
I told Martha, who was sitting next to me that I felt faint.

I then collapsed onto the floor..

OH YEAH. AND GUESS WHAT. THEY THOUGHT I WAS ACTING. Oh and not just acting. BAD ACTING.

So Martha, caught me, and was going to have her moment of glory. Unfortunately, she told me, I was conscious and could speak, so she need not put me in a recovery position, which we had learnt.

The instructor rushed over. And put one of his protocols in place. I started off a bit mumbly. PEOPLE STILL THOUGHT I WAS FAKING. YEAH, ITS PRETTY IRONIC ISN'T IT?

I started laughing and giggling to the end.
It was rather ironic.
But with usual charisma and flair, I did say it was rather timely, and it helped demonstrate a real life situation. Honestly, it was awful. They totally all laughed at me.

So, I find it very funny. Who faints in a first aid course for real?