Fire alarms don't actually work

When a fire alarm goes off..... whats supposed to happen is everyone panics slightly then makes their way outside.

Well, I was performing in a concert in a secondary school the other day, and just before the concert started the fire alarm went off.
What ACTUALLY happened was...

"Whats that noise?"
"Its the fire alarm."
"God! Its so loud, can someone switch it off!"

"Oh my god... who set off the fire alarm."
"Eurgh why does it have to go off now?"

Everybody stood still, looking annoyed with their fingers in their ears.

Moral of the story, if there ever is a fire, setting a fire alarm is the worst idea.

'Falling in love' for vampires

I've read the whole twilight saga at least three times (and I won't give an opinion) and the ONLY reasons I could see that Edward fell in love in with Bella were...

1. She smells very nice.
2. He can't read her mind.

I am disappointed with myself, surely I can right more than two points.

But no,

so moral of the story........................

if a vampire falls in love with you, it is because you use good soap and have a normal brain.

How to 'look interested'

We all have these moments, when someone is telling you all about their cat's supper and

you don't care.

You don't want to appear rude, but you are already very tired and don't have enough energy to listen.

Here are some tips to 'look interested'

• Butt in occasionally with "oh really?" with a surprised look.
• Stroke your chin and look confused and then nod seriously.
• When he/she (the talker) looks at you expectantly, thats your cue to laugh disbelievingly.
• Remember to mutter "wow" and "yeah?" frequently.

And if you really can't hold it up any longer.....

"I'm really sorry, and this is really bad timing, but I just remembered I had to phone......"

The guide to arguing....

....Nope, I am unable to write my own guide to arguing BUT

the invention of youtube has saved me with this:

Enjoy!